Days are intertwining

…in my life lately.

It’s only been three weeks and I have 162 days left to go till I get back on my feet.

I think the main concern for me now isn’t the arrhythmia resurfacing or recovering from the surgery pain, or not having a monetary income at the moment. But, how to fill my time.

How do I fill my days?

Most of my friends recommended me TV shows and movies to binge on. The first two weeks, I did just that. I finally caught up with all the seasons from Abbott Elementary, Ted Lasso, Severance, What We Do In The Shadows, and more. I recently got Max and Mubi, and binge-watch a lot of French New Wave films and horror movies. But. Now, I’m completely bored.

I read a passage from the book, Ego Is The Enemy by Ryan Holiday. The quote says “there are two types of time in our lives: dead time, when people are passive and waiting, and alive time, when people are learning and acting and utilizing every second. Every moment of failure, every moment or situation that we did not deliberately choose or control presents this choice”.

It’s so easy to fall into the category of dead time when I don’t have something I’m working towards to.

These next six months is crucial for me.

I know I’m supposed to rest and recover from my surgery. But, what am I supposed to do while I rest and recover? I can’t just watch another season Abbott Elementary or waste my day scrolling on TikTok.

That’s something I’m trying to figure out at the moment.