A 30-Something Creative Diary Entries From Early September 2024
Thursday. September 05, 2024
8 AM. I saw a quote on TikTok the other day that been on my mind lately.
A seed grows with no sound, but a tree falls with a huge noise. Destruction has noise, but creation is quiet. This is the power of silence. Grow silently.
I like the line “destruction has noise, but creation is quiet”. For me, that’s something I’m practicing currently. These last couple of weeks have been rough. I feel completely isolated and alone, as I haven’t seen anyone since I injured my knee. Normally, I would resort to sharing my current situation online (preferably Instagram). However, I chose not to.
I’m used to sharing my life on the Internet. In the hope that by sharing, some people will validate my situation. A few likes and DM responses would do the trick. But, this time, something in me shifted. I’m not interested in other people knowing what I’m going through. I’m not interested in sharing. At all.
So, the line “grow silently” resonates with me because, this time, I want to keep things to myself.
I want to use this time to really heal privately.
2 PM. The plan was to get coffee with Cecily in Agoura Hills. But, there was an excessive heat warning in the valley today. And, as soon as I stepped outside, I didn’t want to deal with the weather. Plus, I’m still a little hesitant on walking up and down the steps with my crutches. So, I cancelled my plans. Luckily, Cecily was so sweet and drove to my house to drop off an iced matcha latte and a cookie from Pedlow’s in Calabasas.
It was a brief moment. But, I’m glad I got to see her. I don’t see a lot of friends lately, as few don’t venture into the valley or don’t want to make the effort to drive here. Still, I’m grateful for the ones that do. I’m grateful for Cecily coming to visit me, even if it was short. I think those are the type of friendships I want to keep. A friendship based on reciprocity, loyalty, and love.
Friday. September 06, 2024
11 AM. Had a 1:1 meeting with my boss. I thought I was going to get fired.
Turns out, he just wanted to chat about my current situation, and an update on my work. I told him that I’m still not able to walk, but I’m now using a single crutch to move around. I admit that I haven’t done any work. And, I need to actually pull in my weight (since right now is not the ideal time for me to not have a job).
So, that’s what I did. I spent the entire day working from home.
Edited a Youtube video for a film stock review.
Designed a poster for the upcoming gallery event that my work is hosting. These are just rough draft and may need to make revisions (based on what my boss says). So, we’ll see.
The rest of my night was uneventful.
I did, however, received an inquiry from Courtney and Brandon asking me if I want to attend their desert weekend retreat this November to photograph the event. I said yes. And, I also received a message from Chelle to see if I’m interested in photographing for her activewear brand on September 22nd. I said yes.
It really depends if I can walk before those days. And I’m really hoping I can regain my mobility by the end of next week.
Saturday. September 07, 2024
11 AM. I feel so defeated. It’s been three weeks and there’s no progress, in regards to my mobility. I’m getting frustrated because I miss going outside.
I miss exploring and taking photos.
I know I’m going to get better, and I’ll be able to walk again soon.
4 PM. I took a nap.
Something I figured out on my own is that maybe the reason why my knee feels tight and heavy whenever I try to walk is because a certain part of my joint is crystalize. And, if I can just lessen that crystallization, I should be able to go back to normal. I’m hoping my doctor doesn’t recommend surgery and can give me a high dosage of medicine to minimize it.
But, I’m pretty hopeful that my luck is going to turn around next week.
Wednesday. September 11, 2024
9 PM. I went to my doctor’s appointment yesterday.
From what my doctor told me, he doesn’t see any large swelling and that I should recover soon. He recommended an X-ray test and a physical training evaluation to speed up the recovery.
It only took a day for me to get my x-ray results back. Based on the notes, there’s no swelling but there is a small water in my knee but not enough to consider a surgery (thank God).
I’m relieved. Now, I know I’ll recover soon enough once I start taking my physical training exam.